


Letting Go of your Dreams

by BeNotAfeard



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-03
Updated: 2012-01-03
Packaged: 2017-10-28 20:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/311647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeNotAfeard/pseuds/BeNotAfeard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he whispers, and Gerard knows it isn’t real, he knows, but that doesn’t stop him groaning and pulling Frank down again, harder this time, ignoring how much this will hurt when he eventually does wake up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letting Go of your Dreams

Gerard is dreaming.

He’s fairly certain he’s dreaming, because he has that strange _I’m invincible_ feeling that you sometimes get in dreams; the notion that nothing you can do will ever go wrong. This isn’t a feeling Gerard gets a lot when conscious. The other glaringly obvious sign that this is all in Gerard’s head, is that Frank Iero has just burst onto the tour bus with a look of pure desire on his face, backed Gerard into a corner, and started kissing the hell out of him.

Yes, this is a dream. A dream in which either Jamia doesn’t exist, or Frank has simply forgotten he has a girlfriend back home who he’s head over heels in love with. A girlfriend who Frank likes to spend _every free moment_ talking about. Which - Gerard loves spending time with Frank, of course he does, seeing as he’s been in love with the guy for years, but he would prefer it if said time didn’t have to be so full of _Jamia this_ and _Jamia that_. And clearly, Jamia is far from Frank’s mind at the moment. Meaning it is very likely none of this is real. Still, this revelation doesn’t stop Gerard melting into Frank’s arms, returning the kiss with just as much force and passion.

Dream Frank is kissing Gerard just like he’s always imagined Frank would kiss; hard and a little bit sloppy, but with all the energy he has. Much like how he plays the guitar. Gerard brings a hand up to fist through Frank’s hair, and gasps a little into Frank’s mouth as he feels Frank press his thigh in between his legs. Fuck, is he hard already? Clearly, little obstacles like getting it up do not exist in dream land, or else Frank is just really good at kissing. Probably that. Gerard’s always been easy for Frank. Who could blame him, really?

“Gerard…” Frank breaks away to whisper Gerard’s name as if it’s a blessing and a curse all at once. The look in his eyes is dark and intimate and so full of _love_ that it makes something twinge in Gerard’s chest. Waking up is going to be hell after this. Waking up and going back to being the best friend; the one who has to listen to how fucking _in love_ Frank is with someone who isn’t Gerard, who has to listen to stories about their kinky sex and some things which Gerard personally thinks should _never be said aloud_. But that’s Frank for you; “too much information” just isn’t a word in his vocabulary. But Gerard loves him for it anyway. There are very few things Frank does that Gerard doesn’t love him for.

“Frank,” Gerard gasps back, aware that his voice is stupidly shaky. If this was real, Gerard would be embarrassed by that fact, but it isn’t, so whatever. Normally, you wake up once you realise you’re dreaming, but Gerard sure as hell hopes he doesn’t wake up any time soon. Especially when Frank takes his hand and leads him towards the bunk area. Yeah, he isn’t planning on waking up, like, ever.

The tour bus is empty, of course, because it’s a dream, and it would totally ruin in the moment if Gerard’s _little brother_ walked in on him right now. Gerard has a feeling that catching his older brother and best friend in the middle of a make-out fest would probably scar Mikey for life. But then again, it wouldn’t really matter, because none of this is real.

“Come on,” Frank says impatiently, tugging at Gerard’s hand, and Gerard realises he’s been standing there contemplating the pros and cons of dreaming for a good while now. Fuck that. Gerard practically leaps into Frank’s bunk, pulling Frank down beside him. Frank giggles in that way that normally makes Gerard’s heart start beating a million times a minute, but right now, the sound goes straight to his dick. Whatever, he’s dreaming.

Gerard pulls Frank down and kisses him again, this time much softer and gentler. Frank’s mouth moves against Gerard’s as if they were meant to be together, further proof, Gerard thinks, that they _were_ meant to be together. Gerard runs his tongue along Frank’s lower lip and Frank opens up immediately, their tongues dancing in synchronisation. Gerard barely holds back a groan, and seriously, how is he this turned on already? Fucking Frank.

Frank pulls away and stares at Gerard with that same intense look he’d given him back in the main room.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he whispers, and Gerard knows it isn’t real, he knows, but that doesn’t stop him groaning and pulling Frank down again, harder this time, ignoring how much this will hurt when he eventually does wake up.

Frank pulls away from Gerard’s mouth and trails kisses down the side of his jaw, sucking on the pulse point on the side of Gerard’s neck. Gerard worries momentarily about the hickey he’ll have to hide from the guys tomorrow morning, before remembering that oh yeah, it’s a dream.  But Gerard tries to forget that for now, tries to push it to the back of his mind, because all these thoughts of it not being real are starting to depress him and he really wants to enjoy this while he can.

So instead, he focuses on Frank and Frank’s mouth and Frank’s mouth sucking and _biting_ his neck. Gerard bites his lip to supress a moan.

“F-frank, I – you’re beautiful,” Gerard gets out, and way to go Gerard, what a manly thing to say. But Frank just smiles and brushes Gerard’s hair off his face, a gesture so caring that Gerard almost chokes up.

“No Gee, that’s you.”

The look on Frank’s face is so loving and gentle and _real_ , that Gerard wonders for the first time if maybe this isn’t a dream after all, if maybe it _is_ real. But he quickly dismisses that thought. No need to get his hopes up like that just to have them crushed again when he does wake up.

Frank pulls Gerard up to a sitting position, then slowly reaches down to pull off Gerard’s shirt, never taking his eyes off Gerard’s. He runs his hands down Gerard’s pale skin, grazing them over his nipples and pressing against them gently. Gerard groans again and yanks Frank’s shirt over his head, making Frank giggle again. Pants soon follow, and then, _holy mother of fucks,_ Frank is sat in his bunk, naked.

And, _Christ_ , Frank is beautiful. Well, Gerard knew that already, but seeing him now just confirms that. And Gerard knows this is just a Frank he’s imagined in his sub-conscious, but he can’t imagine real Frank looking any less perfect. Gerard runs his hands over the swallows on Frank’s hips, looking up when Frank makes a sound. He’s biting his bottom lip, and with his pupils dark and dilated he looks like pure porn. But, a million times better, because it’s _Frank._

“Gee, I want –” Frank starts, but then decides to show Gerard instead of tell him. He pushes Gerard backwards until he’s lying in the bunk, then climbs swiftly on top of him. Again, Gerard gets a flash of _this is way too realistic to be a dream_ , which he ignores. He concentrates on Frank, and how he’s wanted to see Frank like this for years, since they met basically, and now it’s finally happening, even if it is on a sub-conscious level.

Gerard expects Frank to kiss him again, so doesn’t really know what’s happening when instead Frank shuffles lower down his body, until – _holy shit_ that’s Frank’s mouth around his cock. _Frank’s mouth around his cock._ Gerard flails for a moment, remembers to breath, flails again, then concentrates on just breathing because _fuck_ Gerard has never felt like this before. Frank is _going for it,_ and his mouth was fucking _made_ for cocksucking or something, because. Just wow. Frank does this flicky thing with his tongue that Gerard really needs to remember for the next time a situation like this presents itself you know, when Gerard’s actually awake. Although, Gerard can’t remember having a dream this detailed before. Frank pulls off for a moment, then swallows Gerard whole, fucking deepthroating him, and Gerard forgets his own name, forgets everything except Frank, and the next thing he knows his vision’s gone all blurry and he’s coming hard and Frank just fucking s _wallows_ , of course he does, because well, it’s Frank.

When Gerard can breathe again, he pulls Frank up and crashes their mouths together, and _Jesus,_ he can taste himself on Frank’s tongue, and that is _so fucking hot_ there aren’t even words for it. Gerard can feel Frank’s erection pressing into his leg, and smirks, sliding his hand between them to grasp Frank’s cock. Frank gasps and throws his head back, Gerard’s name between his lips. Frank’s close, Gerard can tell, so he jerks him hard and fast until Frank’s writhing beneath his hand, then crying out as he comes, and then it’s over, and Frank’s pulling Gerard in again for another kiss and everything is perfect and then –

 

Gerard gasps and his eyes his eyes fly open, and suddenly it’s dark and he’s alone. For a few seconds, he has no idea where he is, because _Frank, him and Frank_ – but of course he was right, it had been a dream, and he was lying in his own bunk, not Frank’s, and Frank wasn’t there with him, had never been there with him. Gerard squeezes his eyes shut at the sudden pain that fills his chest. Fuck, this gets harder every day. And pretending you’re not in love with your best friend is a lot easier when your dreams aren’t plagued with thoughts of said person.  Then Gerard remembers that someone must have woken him up, and he’s ready to _kill_ whoever it was, because, _seriously._ But then he hears the voice.

“Um, Gerard? Were you sleeping?”

Frank was peering down into his bunk. Gerard flails internally and tries to wipe any _hi, I love you_ thoughts off his face. Frank was looking concerned, so Gerard plasters a smile to his face and hopes that Frank hasn’t developed telepathy and can sense what Gerard was just dreaming about.

“No man, it’s fine, what’s up?”

Frank face suddenly shifts into an expression so full of love, that Gerard is immediately taken back to the dream. Gerard’s heart kicks in, and hope floods through Gerard’s chest, because, why would Frank look at him like that if he didn’t feel the same way Gerard did? That was a look that said _I’m in love, ask me who with._ Maybe he’d come to tell Gerard that he’d finally realised how amazing Gerard was, and that he’d already ditched Jamia, and what the hell, they should just go ahead and get married – but then Gerard zones back in and actually listens to what Frank is saying.

“I mean, she’s known how I’ve felt ages now, but dude, this is the first time –”

“What?” Gerard frowns, his heart already retreating back into his chest.

“Jamia, man,” Frank says happily, beaming, _fucking beaming,_ “She finally told me she loved me. I just got off the phone to her then, and well, sorry if I woke you up, I just wanted to tell you first.”

Frank beams at Gerard again, his eyes shining, not noticing or caring that Gerard’s stomach just fell through the fucking floor. Of fucking course. Jamia.  Gerard tries to arrange his face in a way that doesn’t say _I just let myself get my hopes up and now I feel like I might actually cry._

Frank’s smile falters when Gerard doesn’t say anything.

“Gee? You okay?”

And okay, maybe it was wrong to say Frank didn’t care. Because Frank does care. Frank loves Gerard, Gerard knows that, just not in the way Gerard wants. But Gerard knows how much Frank cares, and knows how much Frank would hate knowing how much pain he causes Gerard daily, so he plants a smile on his face and says, “Seriously Frank? About fucking time. Aw, man, I’m so happy for you.” It sound flat to his own ears, but Frank doesn’t seem to notice, he just beams, and yeah, it’s better off this way, without Frank knowing.

So Gerard let’s Frank crawl into his bunk and listens to him dissect the phone call like the little girl he is, and he nods along and comments in all the right places, because Frank is happier this way, he’s happier not knowing.

And at the end of the day, Frank’s happiness is all that matters.

 

Originally posted [here](http://misslucythenerd.livejournal.com/12005.html#cutid1), if anyone wants to comment or critique :)

**Author's Note:**

> Can I just say that I adore Jamia IRL and respect her as a person. :)


End file.
